I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
