GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
