I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
