So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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