where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
