My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
