I'm going to jail i love you
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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