I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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