I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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