i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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