toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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