My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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