no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
