that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
