Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
In America we eat man semen.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
