Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
