I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
