Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
