More tranny stories later!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
