I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
