Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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