brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
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