I hate all girls vehemently.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
