I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
