I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
