And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
