Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
