someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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