How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
