Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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