Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
