i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
