i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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