Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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