I wannas sexs uuuuu
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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