he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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