Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
