Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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