I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Bring me that man meat
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize