we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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