You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
