some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
