i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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