Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize