Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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