It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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