Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
