I cut my penus on the lid.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She needs sedatives and a leash
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
