its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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