Your dad touched me again.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize