After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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