Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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