just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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