So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
