Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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