oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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