her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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