I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Four minutes until I can fart!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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