I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
