he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
