doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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