As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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