It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
