Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
two words: eviction party
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
