Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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