oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
