I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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